Yes, I'm well aware of how pathetic this sounds.
On my first morning as a stay at home mom, I spent forty five minutes making elf sized pancakes, digging out our elf-sized appetizer forks and pouring OJ into a medicine cup.
Forty. Five. Minutes. I'm still not sure if I should be proud or embarrassed by this fact.
A few days later, I used an entire roll of wrapping paper and twenty minutes of my life that I will never get back to wrap our toilet.
Dear God, I wrapped our toilet.
I dumped flour on our counters and forced elf arms and legs to make a snow angel.
I later had to spend at least fifteen minutes cleaning said "snow" off of our counters, cabinets and floors. And an additional twenty minutes giving a toy elf a sponge bath.
On a day of little motivation, I snuck into Tyson's room and colored his nose. I was proud of the idea that took such little time.
By the looks of it, Tyson was not.
I dumped blue food coloring in our toilet bowl, added goldfish and carefully constructed a candy cane fishing pole.
Read that again and tell me you don't think I'm certifiably insane.
I dug out all of our play and real doctor supplies and staged a "sick" day for the elf. I added used tissues to set the scene and tucked a stuffed elf into bed.
It was cute.
Until I realized I had staged the sick scene directly in front of a large bottle of wine. "Sick" elf doubled as "hung-over" elf.
Suffice it say, I am watching the clock and counting down the minutes until I can hang up my elf shoes for the season. Hopefully by the time Christmas 2014 rolls around, I will forget the hours I've described above and remember the minutes like the one below that makes this grueling job (somewhat) worth it.