Sunday, December 22, 2013

Chippy 2013-It's a Tough Job, but Someone's Got to Do It.

My recent lack of blogging is directly related to the indecent amount of time I've spent in the last few weeks moonlighting as an elf.

Yes, I'm well aware of how pathetic this sounds.

On my first morning as a stay at home mom, I spent forty five minutes making elf sized pancakes, digging out our elf-sized appetizer forks and pouring OJ into a medicine cup.

Forty. Five. Minutes. I'm still not sure if I should be proud or embarrassed by this fact.

A few days later, I used an entire roll of wrapping paper and twenty minutes of my life that I will never get back to wrap our toilet.

Dear God, I wrapped our toilet.

I dumped flour on our counters and forced elf arms and legs to make a snow angel.

I later had to spend at least fifteen minutes cleaning said "snow" off of our counters, cabinets and floors. And an additional twenty minutes giving a toy elf a sponge bath.

On a day of little motivation, I snuck into Tyson's room and colored his nose. I was proud of the idea that took such little time.

By the looks of it, Tyson was not.

I dumped blue food coloring in our toilet bowl, added goldfish and carefully constructed a candy cane fishing pole.

Read that again and tell me you don't think I'm certifiably insane.

I dug out all of our play and real doctor supplies and staged a "sick" day for the elf. I added used tissues to set the scene and tucked a stuffed elf into bed.

It was cute.

Until I realized I had staged the sick scene directly in front of a large bottle of wine. "Sick" elf doubled as "hung-over" elf.

Maybe I was sending myself subliminal messages?

Suffice it say, I am watching the clock and counting down the minutes until I can hang up my elf shoes for the season. Hopefully by the time Christmas 2014 rolls around, I will forget the hours I've described above and remember the minutes like the one below that makes this grueling job (somewhat) worth it.

1 comment:

  1. This entertained me on my way to DL! Thank you for being such a stinkin cute mom !