Friday, August 31, 2012

6 Months

Dear Mila,
Today you are 6 months and 1 week old and the product of being the easy going second child. Gah.  I’m sorry I’m a week late on your 6 month birthday post. I really, truly am.
The entire time I was pregnant with you I fretted over how Tyson would suffer with the addition of a baby into the family. I worried that you would be demanding. A baby requires so much time and energy, right? I assumed you would take away from the time we spent with Tyson and I was scared he would feel left out, neglected even.
Then you were born. And you were easy going and content. And Tyson was a two year old.
I’m beginning to realize that the tables are definitely reversed.
There are nights when I’m rocking you to sleep that I pray you know just how much I love you. You aren’t as needy, so, am I telling you enough? Hugging you enough? Spending enough time with you?
Clearly being late with your 6 month old letter is not helping this Mommy guilt.
I thought a lot about what I wanted to write to you this month.  I could give you an update on what you’re up to (eating two meals a day, still not sleeping through the night, almost sitting up, just about done spitting up, starting to exhibit some stranger danger behaviors and still being happy) or I could write about how you have completed our family, taught me how to enjoy being a Mommy, and made me smile every day.
Take that Mommy guilt.
As a newborn, you LOVED to nurse for hours before drifting off to sleep. I obliged your milkaholic tendencies by snuggling you in my arms and rocking in your room with the lights dimmed and the book “Bloom” by Kelle Hampton opened night after night. I have read and re-read her book at least fifty times since you were born.  I’d emerge nearly every night after I laid you down with red puffy eyes and a burning desire to let everyone know how much I loved them, how happy they made me, and how I was LOVING finding beauty in the unexpected.  Honestly? Daddy probably thought I was nuts.
Maybe I was, but I like to think I finally realized just how awesome this Mommy gig was. I made three amazing little beings-two of which live with us and make us smile every day-one of which will be waiting for me in heaven. I have a supportive husband and a pretty cool little family of four here to have fun with. I have the life I always dreamed of.
I will always associate the book, “Bloom” with your birthday and I can pretty much guarantee you’ll get a dog-eared copy from me when you have your first child.
The book and you (in 6 wwaaaayyy too fast months) have changed the way I want to live my life. I hope I am showing you every day just how much love and happiness you bring me. I hope you know that I adore you and your brother. I hope I show you a passion for life, learning and new experiences. I hope I smile as big as you do each day.  
For the record, a few of my favorite quotes from, “Bloom” :
“Pain has a way of pulling you forward to a surprising place of “I didn’t know I had it in me,” and while you think there is no way you will ever make it through in the beginning, you do.”
“Confidence doesn’t always come in surges. Sometimes – lots of times – it brews unbeknownst to us, building during the times we feel the least confident – through the tears, the questioning, the self-doubt, the begging God to make it better. Confidence, like contentment, is earned, paved stone by stone until you finally turn back and realize it has been pieced together to create something strong. Confidence is a process.”
“It’s knowing that life is short, and the moments we choose to fill our cup with should be purposeful and rich. That we should be present for life, that we should drink deeply. And that’s perfection.”
Mimi, in the entirely too fast six months you have been in my life, you (with a little help from the inspiring passages and quotes in Kelle’s book) have taught me more than I knew in my prior 30 plus years.
I know, right?
Happy 6 Months, little girl.
Thank you,

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