Monday, May 21, 2012

Maternity Leave Is Over and I am Devastated

Dear Tyson and Mila,

Today I packed up my lunch and drove one hour into work. It was the first day in more than twelve weeks that I have been away from  both of you for more than a few hours and it sucked. Royally.

Sure, there were benefits to my return like the paycheck I’ll receive in a few weeks, sitting down to eat lunch, working out without a newborn strapped to me, peeing without a toddler watching….but honestly? Those benefits seem miniscule when I think of the perks I had being at home.

I miss cuddling in bed watching “toons” in the morning. I miss picking out your clothes for the day. I  miss playing puzzles while drinking my coffee. I miss crazy stress filled trips to Target. I miss our picnics and afternoon walks. I miss reading books and playing choo-choo trains.  I miss Doc McStuffins and Woody. I miss afternoon trips to get ice-cream and playing at the park. I miss story time and school. I miss bouncing and nursing. I miss juggling a baby while trying to tie shoes. I miss changing diapers. I miss kissing owies and making them all better. I miss sleepy eyes and borrowing heads.

I miss you guys.

It took twelve weeks to solidify in my mind what I knew in my heart all along; I was meant to be a Mommy and I’m a damn good one at that. It’s easily the toughest job in the world, but it’s the best one there is too. I’d trade the adult conversation and private peeing any day for another week home with you both.

I love you.


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