Skating Lessons

Tyson started skating lessons this week.  Daddy was an amazing hockey player when he was younger (according to him) and spent many nights at the rink with his Daddy learning to skate. Skating shaped his childhood.  I, on the other hand, was an adequate figure skater who spent at least one competition crying after falling flat on my face. There was another incident on the ice with a figure skate blade, a jump, and my crotch that I won’t even get into.  Based on this, when our neighbors asked if we wanted to do skating lessons with the boys together, we decided that Daddy would accompany Tyson.

Unfortunately, Daddy happened to be out of town this week. THE FIRST WEEK. As a result I was forced to hold Tyson and myself up on the ice for 45 minutes. My back is thanking me today with a few spasms and a new walk that resembles the hunchback of Notre Dame.

Turns out? I still got it. And by that, I mean I can still stand on skates. Yay!

My kid can too. A feat that was particularly hard considering he was blindfolded by his helmet 90 percent of the time. The classes did a great job of teaching him how to fall down and get back up without falling again.  He managed to stand without assistance (even while singing “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes!”), get up on his feet several times without my help and skate the length of the ice rink with a little balance help from me (blind leading the blind, I tell ya-literally and figuratively).

Also, he asked when we will get to play with the puck the whole way home. Soo….at least I have thousands of dollars in hockey expenses to look forward to.

We’ll be back next week (with a helmet that allows him to see), but thankfully Daddy’s back can suffer  the consequences.

One Year Letter

Little Mimi,

Today you are ONE!  (gulp)

I’m still not even sure how this is possible. It feels like just yesterday I was holding you in my arms for the first time, and yet, I have a hard time remembering what our life was like without you in it.

365 days ago we welcomed you into our family with open arms not knowing how perfectly you would fit in them. You are the laid back baby I had dreamed about and prayed for. The yin to Tyson’s yang, if you will. You can roll with the punches and fall asleep pretty much anywhere. You don’t need a schedule or a routine despite my overzealous attempts to get you on one. You are contagiously happy and never want to miss the party-nap time be damned. You are all girl-you notice everything “petty” and squeal when you see babies.  You are determined and smart and can play independently (teach Tyson how to do this, pretty please!) You are sweet and loving and affectionate.

You’ve already given me so much in your first year-You have made me a more relaxed Mommy. You have taught me that I don’t always need a schedule. You have shown me how to have more fun. You make me smile and laugh daily. You’ve given me confidence.  I can only hope that someday I will give these back to you tenfold.

Today will be a bittersweet day for me. As much as I know that watching you grow and learn in the coming years will be amazing, I’m desperately struggling to hold on to these baby days. Someday, all too soon, I realize I won’t remember what it felt like to rock you back to sleep or how you feel propped up on my hip. I’ll forget that, because you love us both equally, you say “mum-mum” for Me and also for food. Or how your first steps were more like a confident swagger. I’ve already forgotten what nursing felt like. And, as much as I try to, I can’t even remember your newborn smell. Realizing that these moments are just that- literal moments- is absolutely terrifying.

 

That said, today, I realize I need to live in this moment. Embracing you as my one year old little girl. My beautiful, independent, happy, easy-going, confident, and determined one year old little girl who I love with my whole heart.

Happy 1^st Birthday, Mila!

I love you,

Mommy 

Work It.

Daddy, Tyson and Mila,

Last week Daddy started a new job. He is gone looong hours and will spend some nights in faraway places.  In return, I am floundering around like a crazy person trying to make life go on. It’s been hard and lonely.  I’ve considered pulling my hair out if Tyson got out of bed one more time. I’ve questioned my sanity when Mila started thinking 4 AM was the appropriate time to wake up for the day. I’ve watched the clock tick by until I could put you both to bed.  I’ve bribed you with candy, fed you PB&J too often, and allowed you to watch a little too much TV. I’ve been tired and cranky and yelled at you when you didn’t deserve it.  I haven’t been the best Mommy I can be. I’m sorry.

The first week Daddy was gone I cried to him on the phone about how rough I had it. Taking care of two kids, keeping the house clean, getting to work on time, and putting food on your plates is hard work. REALLY hard work. I told him I couldn’t do it all. I asked him why he had to do this to me. I told him I was exhausted. I made him feel really, really bad.  Again, I’m sorry.

This week, I’ve realized that yes, I do have it rough-doing all of the above on my own will be hard.  I will be exhausted and sometimes cranky. It will be lonely, but I will be with YOU. Daddy, I’ve realized, has it much, much worse. Daddy will miss things like Mila’s first steps when he’s away on a business trip or Tyson’s first hockey class while he’s out to dinner with a client. Daddy will miss having dinner with us each night and reading you bedtime stories when he is out of town. Daddy will miss the funny thing Tyson said at preschool or the way Mila asks for “Titan” each morning.  

When I was a little girl, my Daddy traveled for work too. I now know how tough my Mommy had it. She was busy and exhausted, but I don’t remember her ever being anything but loving and helpful. I also know how tough my Daddy had it. He missed our swim meets and our choir concerts. He missed having dinner with us and getting us off to school each morning. He missed us.

I hope we can do the whole traveling Daddy thing as well as my parents did. I hope we learn to cherish our time together as a family and appreciate the days, nights and mornings we can spend together. Tyson-I hope you don’t remember that Daddy wasn’t at your first hockey practice, but instead remember that he came to every practice he could. Mila-I hope you remember that it was Daddy that actually taught you to walk.  Daddy-I hope you know that I realize what you are doing is FOR me not TO me and that I am really, really proud of your new job.

I love you guys.

Mommy

Ps-Also-Daddy: Happy Valentine’s Day. This is your present. I think it’s a pretty awesome one. I better not be getting workout clothes.