Thursday, September 20, 2012

Out of the Mouths of Toddlers

Apparently Tyson has decided to start his stand-up routine at the ripe age of 2. It should not surprise you that I appear to be the brunt of his jokes.
Tyson: I not like Mommy anymore.
Daddy: That’s not nice, Tyson. You can’t say that.
Tyson: I not like Mommy anymore, please.
At least you used your manners buddy.
Tyson: Mommy! I went poop two times today! What do I want a cookie or something….
“What do you want a cookie or something?”  Happens to be a sarcastic line I use often. Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, right?
Mommy: Tyson, what are you going to be for Halloween?
Tyson: Superman and Daddy be Superman too.
Mommy: And Mila will be Wonder Woman. What should I be?
Tyson: A Mommy.
Mommy: What should I wear?
Tyson: A vacuum.
Sure to impress the ladies with that one.
When he hits the road, I’ll be sure to sell tickets on the blog. Retirement here I come!

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