Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Almost Two

This little sprite will turn two in just over a month.

Though, if you ask her, she'll tell you she's five. And, if you  ask me, I'll tell you she's two going on fifteen.

Not one to ease into anything, she's preparing us for the Terrible Twos by diving in head first. Her desire for independence kind of resembles dynamite when you mix it with her determined personality. A fact that slightly scares me when I think of the next two years and downright terrifies me when I think of her at thirteen.

Her two most widely used phrases these days are:

"Yeah, sure." As in, "OMGGGGGG Mom, I guess I'll do what you suggest, but don't expect me to be happy about it."


"I'm still pooping." Used a stall tactic whenever she doesn't want to do anything. For the record, she's yelled this in public on multiple occasions. The Target cashier's response to her yelling it repeatedly was, "She's so articulate for her age." Yeah, sure lady. Yeah, sure.

I'm hoping she keeps the "I'm still pooping" phrase for her teenage years, but ditches the "Yeah, sure." Because getting (and keeping) a boyfriend with that phrase in her vernacular shouldn't be easy.
And because getting (and keeping) my respect at age 13 with a response like, "Yeah, sure" won't be easy.

She's showing some interest in potty training. Santa bought her Dora big-girl-underpants. When she got over the fact that they weren't Sophia big-girl-underpants, she decided to give them a go.

She lasted about two hours before peeing all over our floor. If you stop over, she would be more than happy to show you exactly where the "uh-oh happened. Coincidentally it happens to be the same spot where she prefers to place her potty each morning.

Perhaps if we install a toilet in the middle of our living room she will be magically and instantaneously potty trained.

She recently refused to be placed in her highchair at dinner time, so, we obliged.

The results have been messy. Along with the potty, I'm debating a garden hose running from the sink to hose her down each night.

She is OBSESSED with brushing her teeth, but hates when I brush her hair and she often tries to get dressed by "miaself" each morning. The end result is usually something similar to this:

Mama is so proud.

She can throw a mean fit and doesn't hesitate to do so in public. She also yells inappropriate things at inopportune times. Last week, while shopping, she screamed, "HI BOOBIES!" to the bra section.

If it sounds like I'm complaining, I'm NOT.

Yes, two is easily the hardest, most challenging, most trying and most tiring age, BUT, if I could figure out how to keep her two forever, I totally would.

Because when she's not yelling at boobies and peeing on the floor she's the most charming 23 month old with messy hair I know. And even when she is yelling at boobies, it's actually pretty

PS: Some of her more desirable and lovable traits at 23 months include singing at the top of her lungs to the radio (currently, "Timber" by Ke$sha is her favorite song). Requesting"dance music" each night after dinner. Setting up numerous tea parties for her teddy bears. Demanding to sleep with at least twenty two different lovies each night (actually, this one borders on annoying). Saying, "I love you, back!" when I tell her I love her.   Still calling Tyson "brother" but adding in an occasional "buddy" when she really wants his attention. Counting to five and singing her ABCs with an adorable lisp.

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