Tomorrow we will drop you off for your second official day of school. I'm nervous. The first official day did NOT go well. There were tears. From both of us.
I attempted to write this letter to you last week, on your first official day, but I couldn't even go there. How am I already dropping my baby off at school? Wasn't it just last month that you fit in the crook in my arm? Didn't I just rock you to sleep last week? Wasn't it just yesterday that I was strapping your little body to my chest for walks around the neighborhood? How does time continue to go so fast?
You have never been in a classroom without me. You depend on me for everything. You hold my hand tightly in new environments. It takes you at least an hour to "warm-up" to new adults. If a kid even looks at you on the playground you hide behind my legs. You are shy and apprehensive and not used to life without Mommy or Daddy by your side.
And this was why I sat in the parking lot for twenty minutes after I dropped you off. Crying. Convincing myself you would be ok. As I walked out of school last week, I could hear you yelling my name and it took nearly every ounce of willpower I had NOT to go back in and scoop you up.
This will be good for you baby. It will be good for both of us. You will learn how to play with other kids and how to take direction from other adults. You will learn to smile at that little girl on the playground when she says hi and that your teachers can keep you safe. You will learn that Mommy will always ALWAYS come back for you.
On the way home from your first day of school, I asked you if you had fun. You answered, "Yes, but I missed you."
I missed you too, baby.
Here's to hoping that tomorrow is a good second day of school.